|
EVENT
|
# of Drinks
|
|
Every time he says....
|
|
|
Trumpian Superlatives
|
|
Huge ("yuuuuuge")
|
1
|
| best |
1
|
| biggest |
1
|
| embiggened |
something cromulent |
| greatest |
1
|
| tremendous |
1
|
| scrumtrulescent |
1
|
|
Foreign Affairs
|
|
ISIS
|
Announce that there is no alcohol left; take 1 drink
|
| Iran |
1 |
| Nuclear Deal | 1 |
China ("Jina")
|
1 |
tariffs
|
1 of something imported or 2 of something domestic |
trade war
|
1 (+1 if he says they're easy to win) |
unfair
|
1 |
Russia
|
1 shot Russian vodka |
Maduro or Guaido
|
1 (+1 if he pronounces it correctly) |
free trade
|
1 |
fair trade
|
1 |
| NAFTA or USMCA
|
1 Molson/Corona/Crown Royal/tequila; pour out and replace it with a nearly identical drink |
|
Domestic
Policy
|
| taxes |
1, plus an imperceptibly small added bit (+15 if you're a corporation)
|
| stock market |
1
|
| Federal Reserve |
1 (+1 if he takes credit for the Fed's recent decisions)
|
| FBI |
1, furtively
|
| Mueller |
1 (+3 if you've testified before his team)
|
| infrastructure |
Announce that you're pouring 1 drink; pour it; never drink it
|
| coal |
1 (+1 if "clean coal")
|
| immigration |
1 of something imported
|
| DACA or Dreamers |
1 of something domestic, but with a foreign-sounding name
|
| border |
1
|
| wall |
1
|
Wall wall wall! All you need is wall!
|
1 Harvey Wallbanger
|
libel
|
1 of something unfairly maligned
|
Obamacare
|
1
|
|
Kavanaugh
|
BEER! Then enter the drink into your calendar.
|
judges
|
1 |
Space Force
|
1 |
environment or climate change
|
ginger beer & Jack ("A Dark and Stormy Daniels")
|
|
Trumpisms
|
Electoral College
|
more than anyone has ever drunk before... j/k, 1 |
Crooked Hillary
|
1 |
Believe me
|
1, while bracing for the lie that follows |
"Many people are saying"
|
1, while bracing for the lie that follows |
fake news
|
1 swig of nonalcoholic "beer" |
America First
|
1 of something with a 1930s vintage |
Repeats the end of a sentence for emphasis
|
1 |
|
If/Every time he....
|
| references #MeToo or Time's Up |
1 Cosmopolitan
|
| mentions any epidemic, real or imagined |
1
|
| sexually harasses someone during the speech |
1
|
threatens someone during the speech
|
1 |
| plugs one of his properties |
1 (+1 if it's Trump Tower Moscow)
|
| mentions one of his kids other than Ivanka |
1
|
| mentions one of his departed White House staff |
1
|
| mentions an indicated/convicted/imprisoned former adviser/staffer/campaign aide |
1
|
| refers to someone by their nickname (e.g. "Cryin' Chuck," "Nancy") | 1 |
| refers to his "brain" or his "genius" | 1 |
| tweets during the speech | 1
bonus +2 if he delivers the entire speech via tweetstorm |
| says something untrue | nobody could survive drinks for this |
| wears a MAGA hat or defends others who wear MAGA hats (e.g. the Covington kids) | 1 |
|
Special Wall Section For More Wall! When he...
|
| Explains how Mexico is really paying for it | 1 |
| Threatens another shutdown | 1 |
| Threatens to use emergency powers to fund wall | 1 |
| Describes the border situation as a "crisis" | 1 |
| Discusses what the wall can be made of (e.g. concrete, "steel slats") | 1 |
| Mentions a "caravan" | 1 |
| Introduces a special guest child who was kidnapped at the border by ICE | That's not funny. No drinks for you! |
|
Every time the camera shows....
|
|
the First Lady
|
1
|
| Ivanka, and not the First Lady |
1 |
|
your congressional representative
|
1
and pat yourself on the
back for being able to identify your representative
|
|
a standing ovation from HALF of Congress
|
1
|
|
Other
|
|
if he ends the speech with anything other than "God bless the United States," or equivalent
|
1
+5 if he ends with "Make America Great Again"
|
|
if the speech is under an hour
|
Finish your drink and have another
|
|
DEMOCRATIC RESPONSE BONUS GAME
|
|
If she opens with,
(a) "So, about those Georgia ballots..."
(b) "Oy" (while shaking head)
(c) "What the [expletive] was that?!
|
1
|
|
If she references the pee pee tape
|
1 of something golden
|
|
If she references the Russia investigation
|
1 of vodka
|
|
Dreamers or DACA
|
1
|
| "Trump Shutdown" | 1 |
| subpoena or investigation | 1 |
